Morgan: Hazel is a pretty name. I have a great-aunt with that name. Right. Moving along. Spring. Exciting. It's all about autumn! Mummy. ...A professional prostitute, eh? So, she is an interior designer, now? Did she go to school, then? If so, yes? How does Hazel get along with her mother? How does Hazel feel that she does not get to see her father? Why does Yuri bribe Sarea? Explain this. Why does Sarea view him as such? Why did they divorce or never marry? How do Yuri and Sarea feel about each other? How does Yuri feel about his child? Wait. Alysha lives across town and does not know her own granddaughter has a son. That doesn't jive with me. How does she get along with Hazel? How would she react to the child? I'm exceptionally anal about the family. Is Dream Theatre a real band, yes? Michael sounds adorable. A waitress. Very nice. Any specific place? Diner? Nice restaurant? Likes are very good. Dislikes are nice. I like the fact she is allergic to flowers and the senshi of spring. I find amusement in that. Then again, I am British. Like Nanny G concerts! Haha. Oh, ho ho ho, this is why we don't let Morgan watch Cheers and then review applications. Aspirations are nice. Yes. I can't really complain about the prostitute situation, but I'm hoping that we don't get a hard-knock story for Hazel out of it. I trust you, though, as I've seen your other apps. Up to meeting Isaac. History is good. Thumbs up. Now what did Mike do? Now, I don't agree with Mike being the reason people would turn her down. A good portion of the time, at least now (in present day time), more than naught companies and workplaces are working with single moms to help them out. As for school, single mother financial aids are huge. So, why didn't she want to go to community college or what in Virginia? Ah, the time. That is true. I like how she wants to get away from the rut she is in. I think you played out the history in a very real, well-detailed way. I give thumbs up. A dreamer. Aha. Slightly hypocritical. Very contrasting in ways, which gives her more of a 'real' person feels. Self-consciousness is a very good thing to give to her. I like that and I like the contrast with people liking her. Now, does her caring too much get on the nerves of others and how does she respond when it does? Is she very sensitive? Would you say she has her own world? Her head in the clouds. All in the all, the personality is too the point, but I do think it could be expanded on in some parts. Tall! YAY! Random bitch: I hated Liv Tyler in Lord of the Rings. Okay, so moving along. Haydn: *coughs* Hedy: *ahems* Sort-of hippieish in style, then? V. cool. She sounds very cute. I dig. Yes, indeed. Go team. What shade of green and yellow? Just basis? Or like 'spring green'? Yes, I have crayolas. I think I understand the material. Sort-of like the flappy thinks on the side of a squid's head, eh? ...strange fuku, but unique. Spring isn't only about rain, just to mention in the transformation. You might want to think of flowers popping up or the sun coming out to dry the rain up (and the itsy-bitsy spider went up the spout again). Yes. April Showers --> How does the rain react to those not on her team? Does it work on her? Does it give her teammates power to attack again or just a bit more energy? How much pain does it take away and energy restore? Rebirth amongst flora --> Wow. If she's choking or breaking a limb, I'm not down for every three minutes and three times per day. She's not an arch and that is a little heavy, there. I'd say if she is able to crack a limb (Haydn, he's my Astronomia of Weeds who is a...the highest tier, has a vineish attack and even he can't break a limb with it. So, just rethink that.), which I'm very wary about, she needs to only be able to do it once per day. How much can she choke? To death? Can one fight this off? Any counterattack to this? During the minute it is held, how suspectible is Amatiel to other attacks? If attacked will she release the vines? Overall, this is a good app. It just needs some tidying up here and there. I point you to my comments on powers, personality, and various other things I nitpicked at. So, mm, reject for revisions? And you darn well better get this app back in here. ----- Angie: Right, coming out of an 11 hour workday, this should be an interesting review... *blows dust off red pen* Ah, another Angelus but a girl this time! Bonus points right off the bat. The Angelus team is testosterone-laden at the moment. Very nice name and I like how real the reasoning is behind it. Gotta love those handy-dandy neighborhood brothels! *snickers* Her mom rings true but I'd dearly like to know how she remained kind and gentle and just what sort of brothel that was that allowed her to be that way and survive. The dad situation... Irks me. Were they married? Is that why he sends child support? Or is it just plain hush money? I'm hoping more is explained in the history. Hazel's grandmother lives across town so she doesn't really see her much? Um... Roanoke isn't -that- huge, hon. There has to be a better reason for that. I mean, Hazel -is- 21. It's not like Sarea has to hold her hand so she can cross streets... *blinks* And she doesn't know about Hazel's kid? Oh, dear. And he's -two-? And she doesn't know? This is... Vaguely plot-holey. Though he -is- a cutie. Rayya: Can I play with the little guy? Rayya, go away, you're not being useful... So far I like the great grandfather bestest though I have to wonder at the detail there when, well, he's -dead- already. Her likes are farily standard though I really like the introduction of drumming. Well, assuming I'm reading it right as metaphorical for the fall of spring showers. I love the flower allergies! *reads history, shakes head* Please, if you're going to have a little blurb on the father, use the history to elaborate some. Was he a customer? Didn't Sarea take precautions? How did she tell him? It's these little bits of backstory that make Hazel's mother's actions plausible and coherent and justify the life that Hazel will be receiving. Nice detail on Sarea finding a welcoming home at her grandfather's place. I still love the old coot. It was tough but Sarea had a supportive homebase and that let her give Hazel a good start. ... Oh, Grandma lives across the country? That makes much more sense now. *nods, reads* Okay, we've just hit the mother-lode of angst in this lady's life. Pregnant at 19 (*grins* Already doing better than her mom there!). Married. Husband a drug dealer. Run home to mommy... Okay, having a kid will not make every single place she applies for a job turn her down. Honest. A lot of places nowadays are instituting daycare spots or flexible schedules. Single moms aren't that big a deal anymore and employers are coping. So unless she was only applying at, oh, the local corner store, I can't imagine -every- place would turn her down. Her situation gives her a great well of determination and motivation to draw on, though, that would be very interesting to apply to senshi- hood. By the way, did she ever get a divorce? Her personality is very sweet and reticient, something we have precious little of in this game. Motherly is good, too. However, does she have any faults other than a need to please? Is she moralistic? Pessimistic? Does she spit in public? Make her a little more human that a quiet Mama Bear. *laughs* Are you sure the real reason she hasn't been hired at most places is because she's liable to turn up with purple strips in her hair or something? I like the looks, though. Very simple and ethereal. Sweet. Fuku is hard to follow but I think I can see it but... Tattoo? She has a tattoo? Did I chronically overlook that in appearance? Transformation works for me. April Showers is very pleasing and works with the concept of springtime = renewal. I also appreciate the fact that you didn't make it a healing spell; it's more a psychological high. Rebirth amonst flora, though, is pretty much identical to one of Persephone's attacks. Give it another go. Explanation really clears up your reasoning but there are still holes, I think. And, honest! I believe you on Mike. I know quiet 2 year olds, too. And they're such sweeties. Okay, verdict time... I have to say Reject for Revisions. One of the powers is a complete no-go, the history has a few holes that are easily fixed, her personality is a bit too flawless. She seems like a very good beginning for a real sweetie, though, and I'd love to see her and Mike join the idiots of Roanoke. ----- Gillikin: Ian, get your Angelus butt out here, we've got a potential teammate! Ian: Really? ::beams:: Who? Amatiel, Angelus Senshi of Spring, aka Hazel. Let's get our reviewin' on! Hey, nice name, and she's Ian's age. Coolness. Hey, she's the same sign as you, Ian. ^_^ Ian: Really? Cool! Awww... her mom's got a sad story... Is that money he sends her to keep her quiet? Her grandma lives across town, but has never seen her two year old son? O.o Her kid sounds nice and sweet. We need a mother senshi. `Cause Felice is the senshi of motherhood, but he's errr... a guy. ::nods:: I like her granddad! Ian: She's a waitress, hmm? That works. I've never heard of Dream Theatre. She plays the drums? That's cool. Cooking, I wish I could cook. I had the –best- éclair in Paris three years ago... ::drools:: Good choice! No pizza, though? She'd –never- survive college. Green and yellow are nice and springy. I like her likes... Her aspirations are really boffo, too. ::nods:: Ian: Boffo? Yes, boffo. ::snorts:: Ian: Alright, this history is good... Ouchies about that boyfriend/husband incident. So, are they still married, or not? You need to clear that up... Explain a bit about her father, since you talked a bit about him earlier... Ummm.... I'm going to need some more detail with her personality... A little – too- mothering... Maybe... Give her another fault, or two... We like faults in Smyth. ::nods:: Ian: She's as tall as me! Good description of what she wears... Just, does she have a small bodyframe? Medium, maybe? Alrighty, good fuku and transformation... April showers is good, just maybe a little more description... Rebirth, while a very cool name, is almost identical to Persephone's vine attack... You'll have to give her something else... Final Analysis: Ian: She was a good senshi. I liked her fuku, and transformation. Her personality was a bit lacking, though... Her history had a couple of small things, nothing major. I think she'll make a good addition to the Angelus, but she needs that second power revised... So, I'm going to say REJECT FOR REVISIONS. I want to see her back, though. ::nods:: We –need- more female Angelus.