ÿþEmiko: My favorite actor, Kenneth Colley, was in a Monty Python film. *nodnods* He played Jesus in Life of Brian. Kenneth Colley is my god, therefore I can accept your MP=God statement since they are associated. ... Um, yeah. Eraen looks to me like it could just be a variation of Erin. Whoo, finally getting some Grigori in here! Yay. Gweep, we've been getting astrological evaluations recently, and I must say I don't like them very much because too many people just rip of astrological sign/blood type info for personality. And, quite frankly, not only do I not match my sign all that much, I don't know my blood type. I'm so terribly proud of myself. I won't chide to much, since it does show research, but if your personality starts to sound too much like the stuff up here I'll start getting mighty suspicious. And if you quote info like that, it ought to be cited. Nice family info. I don't recall saying this was the Sailormoon world, though... just SM-based. The real Sailormoon world lacks Jace and Talos, just for starters. It's also missing our plethora of dead senshi and truly unlikely romance. (I mean, come on, who believed the legless girl and the Brit would fall in love?) Moving right along before I get /too/ sidetracked... Great likes/dislikes work. Well explained. Looks like the only violence she doesn't dislike would be violence against noisy people... Avocados are wonderful. So are tacos, but they are very messy. Thus I am divided on whether or not to agree with her hated food or not... Everything looks well-organized in history to me, it just seems to stop to early. She's fifteen now; how did she get to fifteen from age five when her sister was born and her obsessions manifested? Surely she did eventually get sent to some psychiatrists or something? (Earlier up in the profile this was hinted at.) What you have is good, I just want more! And where is she now in her life? I like personality, that seems fairly comprehensive. And appearance? Extremely comprehensive. Kudos. Gwee, she's slightly taller than me and weighs slightly less. About one inch and ten pounds difference. Without checking and using myself as a measure, I'd say that sounds about right for her, build and all. How the heck did she get scars from her past life? Did they manifest as a kind of birthmark when she was born? I think I get the fuku. It's a little confusing and I'm sure I'd make a few minor erros if I tried to draw it, but nothing major. When you say the skirt is connected to the bottom of the bodysuit's bottom... The bottom part of the bodysuit is like a pair of underwear, right? Where exactly would the bottom of that be? I'd think it'd make more sense attached to the top of the bottom, i.o.w. where the waist is... I understand the hair perfectly. ^^ Okay, did she wear her barettes before being a senshi, though? Because you say she wears them all the time, yet she hasn't been awakened by any guardian... so will she get them? I really like cancellation shroud. And the lariat. Those have full go- ahead from me. ^^ I'm going with accept with revisions, namely to history. There were some very minor things in fuku that could benefit from some clarifying tweakign, but beyond that, I love your app and your writing and think Eraen would make a great addition to the rpg. ----- Tami: Oh, joy! Grigori! We're very happy you applied for this RPG. This RPG is -so- great, it miraculously removes facial warts, cures cancer, the common cold, and killed the Pepsi Girl. Jace: As a warning, it did nothing of these things. Wade: ... I -like- the Pepsi Girl. Yes, Wade, but you have the brains of a marshmallow in Special Classes. Eraen? Pretty name. (I love making up names.) Em's right in saying it's probably a knockoff of Erin, or even perhaps Ellen. Still, I think it's pretty, and her last name -is- ironic. Like rain on your wedding day... Jace: Or like a baseball bat coming down on your skull with use of force. Fifteen! Young! Well, young-er, anyway. We seem to get a lot of seventeens and eighteens. I like the research on the blood type and astrological sign, even though you probably should've said source. *sniffles* And whaddya mean, Em, that it's bad? We both fit our star sign - we're lazy! And if we didn't pay attention to our characters and their signs (I would have said Tibby was Virgo, but really, the things he did/said later characterized him as a Sagittarius weirdo. *pats Angie carefully*), I wouldn't be able to go to Astrology.com and put them all in the love match machine! IT'S MY FAVOURITE PASTIME! Jace: Next. Ahem... Anyway, seems to suit Eraen, we haven't had many Virgos; we get far too many November and December birthdays here. And April and May, which means ten million Aries. Family information... I like. Benita sounds like a sweetheart, and her daddy sounds like a nice shyman (French!). You didn't mention them in relation to Eraen other than in the fact her mom's paranoid about their youngling getting sick, but that's base facts... I like her sister, as well. YAY for unnatural haircolours! This is Sailor Myth; many of the cast will make you never want to have a hangover. If you look at them from birds-eye-view all lumped together, it looks like a Gay Pride banner. But like Em said, Sailormoon no exist in this universe - we're much more interesting and full of angst and death and incest and the other bazillion sins anyway. Jace: *gets a switchblade, turns on Em* Are you sayin' Teaboy and me making smoochies is UNLIKELY? Geez, Jace, and you say -I- go off-topic. Jace: She's insulting my honey! She -owns- your honey. Jace: On second thought? Lovejoy, don't apply. It's not worth it. The players all suxor. ... You didn't say anything nasty that entire sentence. You're losing it. Jace: And you're a retard. *hugs Tibby doll* Better... Don't worry about being religious and attending North Cross. Look at Hedy; she's the daughter of Satan. Look at -Rick-, who'd date anyone in hotpants. Eraen won't have a tough time of it... Oooh, the likes section! I -love- this part. I often go nutty on it and write two pages... Naps is good and original, I like the art museums, I like the libraries, I like the quiet. I do not like the biology; I failed the exam. (However, I won't let that bias colour my review.) I like her pondering, her French, her hats, I like all her likes (though not literally). She sounds really anal. That's cool. The dislikes also illustrate her well - she's an anal-retentive snobling. Yay avocado! (I hate them.) Yay tacos! (I love them.) Hobbies colour her boring but, hey, I figure she is. Aspirations equally so. Star sapphire is worth a bunch in the Adventurer's Mart as... Jace: Start talking about Baldur's Gate II, die. Sheesh, all right... Let's go through history! I -love- the bits you've done. However, as Em said, there're gaps. I'd personally like to know how she handled high school (was she teased for being an ass?), does she have any friends, does she work, nitty-gritty, how she acts in school. That sort of stuff makes my day. We all like nitty-gritty. YAY! She's boring! She's anal! She's fussy, she's arrogant, spoilt. She's apathetic. She's -amazing-. We haven't had that personality type. I know a bunch of people like Eraen! I love her already! Will she marry me? Jace: She'd have to get into the harem with the -rest- of your flames. And my harem's kinda dirty. Pity... 'cause, reading over appearance, she's hot. I can visualize her easily. (She's too un-heavy to be emaciated, though; either take off the pounds or take off that attribute. Not that I can actually properly read pounds, which is a scary Yankee measure...) Where'd she get the scars from? Past life? Fight? Is this her past life as Eraen or past life as another person? I am si confused. Jace: That's no biggie. She's always confused. Shut up. Jace: Make me, bitch. *weeps* Her fuku is complicated and makes me cry; however, it sounds cool the bits my brain managed to understand. Very roxor. Nice and original. The powers also blow my goat. I WANT A LASSO; WHY CAN'T I HAVE A LASSO? I don't know why you wanted to get out of doing a writing sample, 'cause yours rocked. And, of course, your email has Freya Crescent in it, my favourite female dragoon of all time. Instant accept. YEAAAAAH FREYA AND AMARANT! Jace, Wade: *clear throats* Uh... I liked Eraen a lot; she sounds like a laugh. Accept with revisions on history, possible appearance, that sort of fiddle- faddle... YEAAAAAAAAH FREYA! Jace: Yeah, this is how it's going to be in the RPG. If you really expected any different, get out of here. Wade: *hisses* Ja-aace, they're not s'posed to know that 'till they're already -here-! Jace: Whoops. ----- Angie: *wipes off red pen* Next? Hmm, another Grigori. Good. We need more of them and I'm looking forward to seeing how this nullification works out. Eraen definitely sounds related to Erin. Very pretty and original but is it safe to assume that her folks also doodled the name out? *grins* Younger senshi. Good. Ack! Not another info dump of astrological stats! *sighs* Folks, save us the time and just put these things, if relevant, in your personality area. Most of us have vague ideas already of what the signs mean from doing our own characters, anyway, and don't need dumps like that... Same thing with the blood type. Put this info in the personality, please! Or the reasons section. I'm assuming you mean yellow hair, right? The family is bare bones but it passes... I like the detail in her school. I had a friend who went to a Catholic school and was actually wiccan; it was all her parents. Why aren't the facts in any good order? Hmm? Good relation between mother's paranoia and her eventual "quirks"... Closet brat! I like that. Short on history but she's only 15 and she had no massive trauma so we'll be happy. *giggles* I'm loving this cleaning obsession. Can she come and do my place? Love that personality. She's just so... Blah and neurotic that it's a joy to behold. Looks, spiff, but better bag that girl down with canned food in sacks if she's going to try walking when it's windy! The fuku is kinda confusing and I'm squinting hard trying to picture it. I think I get it but could really do with a clean-up of that whole section for coherency's sake... If she has these barettes, where is her guardian? Guardians have to distribute such gimcracks of senshidom... Transformation. Um, I haven't watched it in a while but this screams Sailor Moon to me. Flashier, more original, please? Wonderful power! And, yes, you may have the lariat. *hides my old Wonder Woman underoos* Uh oh. No guardian? No barettes. No senshi. Poof. Out of existence. *grins* But very easily fixed! Yes, hon, a writing sample is necessary. *beams* This is, after all, a writing RPG! And you needn't have worried. That was a lovely sample. Accept with Revisions. Which basically means clean up the fuku and fix the issue of a guardian. *huggles Eraen until she screams about hygeine* This one will be much fun to torment, yes?